Hey literal babies, there’s now a Bluetooth speaker for you

Cribs are a bummer, man. Your only option for entertainment is staring up at the ceiling because you can’t roll over yet and probably don't own a phablet with a Netflix subscription. I hope your parents strung an inspiring mobile above you, or at least painted the ceiling with a fake sky, or else you’re probably really bored. I get you, babies. I have good news for you, though! There’s now a product called the SoundBub, which is a Bluetooth speaker and noise maker just for babies. Your parents can record messages and lullabies, and they can pick what they want you to hear. It comes with preloaded sounds, like ocean waves and rain, as well as the option to play music. Us adults refer to this kind of technology as a "baby sleep soother" because you’re a baby and it’ll soothe you to sleep. There's a whole Amazon section dedicated to gadgets like the SoundBub.

Your parents just have to give you a baby cell phone before you can use the SoundBub. Maybe your mom’s rendition of "Mary Had A Little Lamb" isn’t so great; that’s why we adults invented music streaming, Bluetooth, and Raffi. Everything is your choice!

I’m not sure it’s healthy for you to pick the noise maker all the time. I know white noise can lull you to sleep, but maybe think twice before picking the sound of rain patter every night. It can be addicting. Oh, I should also let you know that the SoundBub is chew-safe, so don’t feel bad if you want to gnaw on it for a while. It was built for that. Now, this isn’t a baby monitor, so your parents won’t be able to talk to you and vice versa, but you’re good with screens, so you should be able to handle switching between songs smoothly. Maybe hit them up on Facebook if you need their attention.